I Really Hope They Did Not Play The Liza Minelli Version

When the Yankees won their latest pennant a stray thought crossed my mind. Could this be the greatest Yankee team of my lifetime? Yes I am a child, but still the idea of any team being better than the 1998 New York Yankees was difficult to grasp. That particular team is shrouded with such distinct excellence that to challenge its prowess was like rehashing the argument as to whether anyone would ever be better than Michael Jordan. How could it be possible?

With their recent victory over the Philadelphia Phuckoffs, these 2009 Yankees have in many ways matched the on-the-field excellence of the aforementioned Torre-led squad. For me, however, the victory is not as sweet. Unable to watch a single playoff game, I felt my favorite team grow distant, leaving me behind on their way to a 27th World Series title. (Speaking of which, the name “World Series” doesn’t feel patronizing until you’re flipping through 230 channels of Egyptian soap operas and Woody the Woodpecker re-runs trying to catch Game 6.) Those of you thinking that I am not now and never was a member of the Yankees and thus could not have been left behind by them can go ahead and choke on a d. I may not have been on the payroll, but I certainly felt some (albeit deluded) connection to the boys in pinstripes. Not being able to watch their continuous tearing of ass felt like Bean or Smilo must feel every time a friend of theirs is doing work. Yea this is good and all, but why not me too?

But back to the original question of which team is better. While I could go into a detailed “analysis” of which team had a better starting 5, deeper bullpen or more consistent defense, that would seem overly reasonable and might lead me to a conclusion I might not want to have. For this reason, I will rely entirely on a general collection of hunches and time-tested intuition.

For one, the 98 team never forced me to defend it from an onslaught of dbags harping on about payrolls, steroids and total lack of class (basically all A-rod). That the nineties team played in the more innocent era of Big Mac and Sammy Sosa where the country was blissfully oblivious of the pervasive presence of steroids is a fact which I will completely ignore. Like I said, this isn’t analysis; it’s more of a gut feeling. Sure I might have been an oblivious twelve year-old during one season and a disenfranchised curmudgeon during the other but the 98 team had a certain aura missing from the updated juggernaut. Torre’s early Yankees seemed to dominate without even trying or taking themselves seriously. They were simply playing a game, very well. While this year’s team also did its fair share of keek vooking and last-minute heroic mystiquing, the matter of dollar signs was never too far. These Yankees had to win in order to justify their payroll, those of old won almost without even realizing it. I also really liked Scott Brosius.

I realize that most of these thoughts would have probably been avoided had I simply seen the damn series but I have never been one to apologize for my blatant bias.

That being said, the 2009 New York Yankees are World Series Champions and that is absolutely fucking awesome. Maybe I can finally stop having to defend A-rod. (He gets paid to hit home runs people, not to be a model father and husband. What he does on his own time, while likely deplorable, is none of our business as long as he keeps smacking the crap out of the ball.) Maybe now when I see a Masshole wearing a shirt that says “Got rings, lately?” I’ll be able to walk up to him and simply say, “yes.” The fact is that, regardless of the relative distance between me and this team, the Yankees are my squad and there is not much that can be done about it. I learned baseball from the 96-2000 teams (and will feel old the minute Derek Jeter retires) but there is still much to love about this next generation of champions. After all, everyone loves a winner